Felt totally lousy... shit! Pui! Yucks!

Wanted to get this Disney Collection.
http://www.paul-joe-beaute.com/jp/seasonal/seasonal.html?page=1

It's not going to be launched in SG because there's no Disneyland in SG. What the heck! I guess it'll be a sell-out one loh. Dunno what the people are thinking of. No disneyland that's why all the more must lauch wat. Make pple want to go Disneyland. No brains. Tried to get a CP but was informed that there are more than 15 pple on the waiting list and chances of getting is like slim until slimmer than a pc of paper. Say will inform me if there are extras. How funny. You think will have meh? Stop patronizing me.

Next... is about him loh. WTH... Sms him a few days back to ask if he's free on Sunday. He says should be ok... then suddenly say need to eat dinner with his god-ma. So Sunday left with afternoon free. Morning he going church. When he's done, it'll be like 1 pm already. And his dinner is in Novena. If I want to meet him, then go Novena eat the chicken rice then go back. HOW stupid. It's like a 1 hr MRT ride to novena and to eat a half hour lunch with him then go back. Waste time only loh. After lunch I believe he believes there's nothing to do. He hates shopping. But besides eating and shopping, there's nothing much to do in SG. So he complains again abt how boring SG is and he wants to leave. OK fine... if it was me, I guess I would want to leave, say for a couple of years. To leave here permanently is not in my consideration yet. As a Singaporean, I think I still feel something for her. FYI I still keep my national day stuff... there's one year I managed to get tics to go see the live parade. Thanks to my ex. Haha.

Yah... so if he wants to leave, what can I do? There's nothing to stop him anyway. He also doesn't love me like as if without me, he'll die immediately. He prob has moments thinking how nice life would be if I didn't exist. You think he'll be that evil? Dunno... Ok... forget about the leaving SG stunt. I'll be sad lah... but life still goes on.

Back to the Novena chicken rice case... yah waste of time loh. But if I want to see him, I got to do it wat. Chances are we'll end up black face again. Its like so excited about being able to meet him then something must happen that makes my blood boil. And the whole romantic feeling about being able to see him vanishes like sparkles in a explosive way. So should I go or not? Actually I'm not so keen. I have got like tons of things undone and unbought. This sux.

Just a footnote in case I forget. I lent him $360 for him to pay his OCBC bill cos he cannot withdraw more than $2000 from his ATM card. Just in case he never returns me and I forget to collect, this post serves as a reminder.

I was blogging just now... for some reason somehow the page got lost. It always happens. Was saying that I went to buy 2 bebe clothes that costs around $140 each or lesser a bit. Bebe is considered a more luxury brand bah. I've always been a cheapo for clothes as I've never really bought any really exp clothes. Only jackets costs more than $100 and prob a black dress from LVER. Never have I bought tops that cost that much. But I think the material is good and I like the design. Afraid that I'll desire for more and more luxury goods. The thought of it makes me shiver. And yah... I don't have a lot of cash. So the more I think of it, the more scared I am. What if I become a branded freak? Btw that time when WK went Japan, I got him to buy for me 2 burberry blue bags. One of them I think was some miscommunication... he got me the wrong one. So think might sell it off.

I'm more shifting towards loving expensive things that has got quality or really nice and shifting away from the cheapo ones. Am I normal? Or am I getting more and more materialistic???

Had some communication with Yong Ming. Going to tree top walk with Huixian, Groovie and him later at 7+ am. He will come and pick me up... then somehow he said petrol v exp and all... and I got really pai seh and I din wan to be a leech. So i sms him to tell him that I don't want a ride from him and will go macritchie on my own. Then he called to say he's joking. Then I called him back a while later to try explain why I felt pai seh. Cos Huixian once said he complained about people using him as "Ahmad" cos he got car to use. I was afraid I'll be labelled as a lousy friend. And I wanted to have some dignity and not let pple hate me. Then later he sms me. Below are the contents:
"Hey silly girl. Don't worry. Im more than okay to pick you la. I always fetch my good friend aroud' and you are more than a good friend to me" Wordings and punctuations as actual.

After seeing that, I felt very touched and guilty as well... for suspecting that he was calculative and the petrol was more impt than our friendship. I guess I was the bad guy here. Touched also of the sms contents. Cos seldom you get such things from friends... reassurances that you are an impt friend. He's also my impt friend. To be really honest, I liked him before and kind of like really quite a lot. And thank goodness we didn't get tog... cos actually what we looked for were very different. And thankful that we didn't become like strangers after he told me he didn't like me. We transitioned into very good friends after the confession by me. And he was the very first guy who rejected me. And he was the first guy who hugged me even though we weren't together. And I was the first girl he hugged besides his mum and his 2nd gf. Would really like to say a heartfelt thank you to yong ming. I hope he can feel it. Thanks for being my friend.